Rigor & Love: Finding the balance

We had a Senior Bash for the last day of advisory today. The juniors brought food and we celebrated the accomplishments of the seniors in our advisory. I bought "GRAD" glasses for each of the twelfth graders to wear (the letters R and A went around their eyes), dedicated a few words to each one, and thanked them for a great year. They then decided to take turns saying something back to me, sweet and funny words that reminded me that what they appreciate most are not the academic lessons I taught them, but the emotional support I provided.

The students reminisced about the days when I was their World History teacher, and two of them commented, "I thought you hated me back then."

I was struck by these statements, and asked whether there was something in my words or actions that made them feel this way. Although they could not think of specific examples, I made a mental note to reflect on my demeanor and the way I make students feel. I'm still trying to find a balance between having high expectations and creating a classroom environment in which students feel comfortable. During my first years of teaching, my students definitely felt loved, but I'm not sure that I taught them much or kept them accountable. Over the years I've become a lot more strict and better at facilitating meaningful learning, but worry that I might be seen as unapproachable by my more timid students. I need to work on finding the right balance, and will make this one of my goals for next year. I will maintain high expectations, but will make more of an effort to encourage and inspire students from a place of love rather than frustration.

I appreciate my students' honesty and am grateful for the opportunity to reflect and become a better teacher. We grow with honest and encouraging feedback, and I need to remember to provide more of this for my students. I will be better about accepting that my students are works in progress, and will be warmer and more positive as I help them improve their academic skills and personal development.